Finding Cristina

Comment on this post. I will choose seven interests from your profile and you will explain what they mean and why you are interested in them. Post your list along with your answers in your own journal so that others can play along.

bugsdrugscandy gave me:

1. atmosphere- Atomsphere is an underground hip-hop outfit from Minneapolis. Fronted by Slug they're beats are rather simple with amazing and intellectual lyrics. Cigarette hip-hop.
2. ellis- Ellis is a very adorable amazing musician. Nothing better than an adorable lesbian playing her heart out on a guitar.
3. the marriage of souls http://www.polyamorysociety.org/Marriage_of_Souls.html True love and devotion at it's core.
4. spades- I learned how to play spades with a black family i used to spend a lot of time with. I can't play euchre but i can play this, same game different trump cards.
5. psalm 27-http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm+27 My favorite psalm. Upon randomly opening the Bible I will come to this one 4 out of 10 times, it always comforts me.
6. pillows- Lets see right now I have 6 of them on my bed, need more. I'd have like 20 if i could.
7. bdsm- Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism. It's not just about sex for me, it's about life. I'm a huge masochist and a slave to Man at heart.

I get worse and worse every day.
Mentally, physically. I'm wore out, with no way to plunder on. "Pretending" it's ok so other people can go to sleep, so i can go to sleep.....
though sleep is what i dread, every time i sleep i wake up worse.
I punch myself in the face now, hard. Almost broke my nose....but it doesn't matter. I have a worse and worse concussion everyday, but it really just doesn't matter. There's a new hole in the wall, and new hate spoken out of my mouth, EVERYDAY.

Jude 12-13:
They are clouds without rain, blown along by the wind; autumn trees, without fruit and uprooted-twice dead. They are wild waves of the sea, foaming up their shame; wandering stars, for whom the blackest darkness has been reserved forever.

I do not know what to do. I am deathly afraid of myself, as I think I should be, and once again I find myself feeling utterly alone and seeing NO glimpse of hope in the future.

Instructions:
1. Bold those books you've read.
2. Italicize started-but-never-finished.
3. Add 3-5 of your own. (don't repeat any)
4. Post to your livejournal.


( This is horribly long...... )

I want to know 28 things about you.I don't care if we've never talked, never liked each other, or if we already know everything about each other. I really don't. You are obviously on my list, so let me know with whom I am friends!
1.Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:


HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...

1. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
2. Whats your philosophy on life?
3. Would you have my back in a fight?
4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
5. What is your favorite memory of us?
6. Would you give me a kidney?
7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
9. Can we get together and make a cake?
10. Have you heard any rumors of me lately?
11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
12. Do you think I'm a good person?
13. Would you drive across country with me?
14. Do you think I'm attractive?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. What do you wear to sleep?
17. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
18. Would you go on a date with me if i asked you?
19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
20. Will you repost this so i can fill it out for you?

but I couldn't resist, I like this one!

Pick one word from each pair that you think describes me the best and leave it in the comments. Then copy this and post it in your own journal (if you want to do so) to see how your friends view you.

*dominant or submissive
*logical or intuitive
*social or loner
*kinky or vanilla
*cute or sophisticated
*kitten or puppy
*warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
*leader or follower
*quiet or talkative
*spontaneous or planned
*teddy bear or porcelain doll
*hiking or window shopping
*tequila or vodka
*top or bottom
*bare foot or shoes
*jeans or slacks
*tender or rough
*aware or dreamy
*nerd or jock
*brains or brawn
*common sense or book smarts
*pretty or sexy

(SORRY TO ANYONE WHO READS MYSPACE BUT THIS IS JUST A COMPLETE REPOST)

Well not really completely moving on, but in a sense. besides that's the song that's stuck in my head. y'know the one by rascal flatts? anywho.

Owen and I have talked now. It's been too long of pretty much crap for us. I couldn't do it anymore. It was wearing off on everything and I haven't been happy for a long time. Don't get me wrong, I care about him. I love him even....but for awhile, it just hasn't been -that- way. We both made a lot of mistakes at the beginning of our relationship and even he admits that he completely misrepresented hisself to me. I dunno. Even though this is what I want, it's still hard. I've never had a relationship like this. Of course...he's the father of my first (and for a very long time, only) child. But it's just...not working. So the temporary conclusion of this all.....

we're doing what always sounds good in theory and almost always ends in disaster. giving each other "space", seeing other people. but we laid down our "guidelines".... no bringing anyone to our house or really talking about it to the other person...no getting pissed at the other person if we see them somewhere with someone (hah yeah we'll see how -that- works)....if someone starts shit after going out or anytime, one or the other just needs to remove theirselves. i guess the way i look at this is a buildup to the end....time to figure things out and make absolute sure this is what we want.....

so even though this is what i want, there's still this bad feeling in the pit of my gut. he went out tonight, already. i'm glad to know i have people there for me and all but man have i devoted SO much to this relationship...but i'm glad we're to this point, it does feel better.

i could go on forever, need to kick it with someone so i'm hoping luba will stop by tomorrow for a bit. i MAY be going to a party on saturday we'll see.

love.

I tried out TrustFlow II for LiveJournal. The following people not on the friends list for bleedthesoul are close by:

• ackwar, lungtongue, ladycasanova, southside4life, sarusasori, missxmaryxjane (50 - 100)
• raelwithcheese, europa01, salaino, froggiegurl99, peaches321, fallacyoflove, vaelek, kinky_christian, d_metrea, ravendon, familiarstrangr, sexyd4thugs, talula713, crazyfoolstubbs, angelbaby_02, nothinggirl75 (100 - 150)
• gothby98, goldendragon77, drake_goldwin, jungle_pickle, achan, honeybunchies, guyslut, ambersue, onlyspit, cellophanestarr, snotonthewall, pinkninky, xbleedingrosesx, dosprogrammer, hollywood, luvchi13, flighted_faerie, friedenliebe, rainbotears, gayoldme (150 - 200)

( More results below the cut... )

Created by ciphergoth; hosted by LShift.

TrustFlow II: Who is closest to your friends list?

In honor of the name Scooter and Sam have picked for "the new COLD" here is "Witch" of of 13 Ways to Bleed

"Witch"

I never knew, she's gone
She's flown away
Everyone said she's not
Your kinda girl
I'm so alone, this girl
Is flowing fear
Everyone said
She fucked up this time

It's my brand new world
Today
And it's my brand new world
This way

I'll never change, it's wrong
So go away
Everyone said she's not
Your kinda girl

I've tasted love, it burns
I'm so afraid
Everyone said
She fucked up this time

It's my brand new world
Today
And it's my brand new world
This way

I think this fucking witch knows
The way
And everything I feel
It's all mine




I've always liked that song, and I can't freakin wait to hear something by The Witch!

From January 20, 2004-I love this, and I can still feel it in so many respects

The world as one;
a spinning mass
through the blackhole
of time.
Hearts stood still.
Dreams crept through
their eyes. Slithering
down the mouth
washing all the words
away. A tidal wave
spilling over the
heart drowning out
all emotion. Until
the wave became
an ocean; rip roaring
through the body
destroying all that was
so carefully built.
Everything came crashing
like wild rapids.
Spinning--out of orbit
away from hope,
from promise.
Nothing but a distant,
sparkling star.
Forever...Forgotten..Gone..

Read only if you have time for God


God, when I read this , I thought...
I don't have time for this... And, this is really inappropriate during work.
Then, I realized that this kind of thinking is... Exactly, what has caused lot of the problems in our world today.
We try to keep God in church on Sunday morning...
Maybe, Sunday night...
And, the unlikely event of a midweek service.
We do like to have Him around during sickness...
And, of course, at funerals.
However, we don't have time, or room, for Him during work or play...
Because.. That's the part of our lives we think... We can, and should, handle on our own.
May God forgive me for ever thinking..
That... there is a time or place where..
HE is not to be FIRST in my life.
We should always have time to remember all HE has done for us.
If, You aren't ashamed to do this...
Please repost for your friends.


Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."

Not ashamed?
Repost this only if you really mean it.
Yes, I do Love God.
HE is my source of existence and Savior.
He keeps me functioning each and every day. Without Him, I will be nothing. But, with Christ, HE strengthens me. (Phil 4:13)


I don't think I know 10 people who would admit they love Jesus. Do You love Him?
THE POEM

I knelt to pray but not for long,
I had too much to do.
I had to hurry and get to work
For bills would soon be due.
So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My Christian duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease.
All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer.
No time to speak of Christ to friends,
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.
No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die.
I went before the Lord,
I came, I stood with downcast eyes.
For in his hands God held a book;
It was the book of life.
God looked into his book and said
"Your name I cannot find.
I once was going to write it down...
But never found the time"

Think about This
Why is it so hard to tell the truth but Yet so easy to tell a lie?

Why are we so sleepy in church but Right when the sermon is over we suddenly wake up?

Why is it so hard to talk about God but yet so easy to talk about nasty stuff?

Why is it so boring to look at a Christian magazine, but yet so easy to look at a nasty one?

Why is it so easy to delete a Godly e- ma il, but yet we forward all of the nasty ones?

Why are the churches getting smaller but yet the bars and dance clubs are getting larger?